Mark Thomas: Britain should declare war on Jersey

The British comedian Mark Thomas has a wonderfully acid piece in The Guardian, which focuses on Jersey, and whose subtitle says:

"If we can attack Iraq, why can't we invade – sorry, liberate – this 21st century pirate cove?"

He describes his recent tour of the country getting audiences to propose policies they think will "change the world, improve their life or just annoy people they don't like." These policies have developed into a manifesto ("not so much a vision of the future as a slightly disturbed stare of inappropriate length into the navels of Mark Thomas’s audience"), and subsequently this has been turned into a Radio 4 series, a booklet, an action figure and a range of clubwear. And he adds:

"One of my favourite ideas was the simple proposal that "Britain should invade Jersey". Now that TV's Bergerac is just a distant memory this policy has become truly popular, not least because Jersey is one of the tax havens that have become the legal pirate coves of the 21st century. The Tax Justice Network (not to be confused with the rightwing Tax Payers' Alliance) estimates the UK loses about £18bn a year in tax revenue due to "corporate tax efficiency" ie companies moving offshore. The Iraq war cost at least £8bn.

So war with Jersey would not only be morally right but self-financing too. In fact we could probably do a bond issue for the invasion to pay for everything up front with the promise of a steady yearly return for investors."

Read on, to find out more about the work of exiled Jersey Senator Stuart Syvret, and much more. Thomas has many other ideas, and finishes with:

"Ebury Press has put up a £500 election deposit and £500 campaign costs to an independent candidate who would stand on issues from The People's Manifesto. Go to www.thepeoplesmanifesto.co.uk for details of how to apply."