Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Emergency Appeal: 50 per cent tax rate

Dear kind-hearted friends

AT THIS TIME OF INTERNATIONAL CRISIS...

...I am writing to ask you to please look into your heart to help those in need.

Banking executives in London are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level. And, as if that weren't bad enough, some of these unfortunates might be forced to pay tax at the 50 per cent rate if they are not able to take full advantage of offshore tax planning opportunities. Can you imagine the emotional suffering this is causing to these victims of the crisis?

But now, you can help! For only £1,200 a day (that's less than the cost of a decent bottle of claret) you can help a bank executive remain financially viable despite these hardships.

This contribution by no means solves the problem, but it's a start! £1,200 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a bank executive it could mean the difference between a yachting holiday in Saint Lucia or a weekend grouse shoot in the Scottish Highlands.

For you, twelve hundred pounds is nothing more than a mortgage payment or tax deductions for the month. But to a bank executive working in the City of London £1,200 will almost replace his per diem.

Even if you feel unable to commit to the whole amount, a commitment of less than £1,200 a day will enable your selected banker to buy that weekend retreat in Cornwall, trade in the year-old Ferrari for a new Bentley, or take advantage of the tax breaks offered by living part-time in Monaco.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the executive you sponsor. Detailed information about his bonuses, stock options, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Imagine the joy as you watch your executive's portfolio double or triple!

Furthermore, on signing up for this programme, you will receive a photo of the selected executive (unsigned-for a signed photo, please include an additional £350.00). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your selected City of London banker will be told that s/he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the recipient won't know your name, s/he will be able to make emergency calls to your home via a special operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a City of London banker. My preference is ticked below:

[ ] Chairman [ ] CEO [ ] Entire Board of Directors
[ ] I'll sponsor a bank director most in need. Please select one for me.

It's just that easy - so do it now!

Please charge the account listed below ___________ per day and send me a picture of the banker I have sponsored, along with a "Keep The City Strong; Sponsor a Banker: Ask Me How!" t-shirt, which will be mine to keep.

Circulate this to your friends so they can also share the joy of helping a banker maintain his dignity and lifestyle.

And many thanks for your generosity!

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